How Bizarre!
by marguerite1407
Summary: “I could not help thinking that at that precise moment I was certainly laying at my cold bathroom floor, unconscious, after some kind of insanity attack struck me. I hoped I would eventually wake up….” Probably a Mary Sue…then again, maybe not.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter I: Suddenly Everything Went Dark

This is a tale of the most odd…wait, no, the most extremely bizarre thing that has ever happened to me… or haven't, for I still have doubts if that really happened, me being always concerned about my mental health since that fateful day. Oh sorry, let me stop my babbling and get on with this story…

It all started on a Tuesday morning, a grey and absolutely ordinary Tuesday morning, and that I consider that the first odd fact…Why of all days would something choose to happen on a TUESDAY? An absolutely boring mid-day of a week? Well, it's going get stranger anyway…So, I was brushing my teeth after lunch, very lazily, watching the foam drip from my mouth into the sink, I wasn't thinking my life was boring or having any kind of existential crisis nor was I thinking of the meaning of life in a general sense or having any sort of philosophical deep and grand thought, I was just thinking about nothing really, slowly floating through my mind were random and detached strings of thought that I cant even recall. Suddenly, everything went dark…

"Damn, light switch! I fixed you only two days ago!" I said turning to press the switch located directly on the wall to my left…and the light went on again…for two seconds…and off again. It's incredible how some minor problems can turn out to be so annoying!

"Daaaaaammmnnnnnn!" Once more I turned to press the malfunctioning switch, now applying quite some violence. The light keep going on and off and I kept spanking the switch harder and harder. By the 76089 time I was going to punch the dammed thing…I missed it! How? How could I miss it if the switch was directly at my side (and until a second ago I was fiercely hitting it)? Odd…. In the dark I extended my hand to feel for the wall…where was the wall? I stepped forward, hands still ahead of me looking for it…one more step…one more…and yet another one…and another…How could I be strolling around like that in a bathroom that is hardly the size of a matchbox! Without thinking I started to walk again, faster this time, in hope to bump into something. But I didn't! I didn't bump into the cabinet, nor the sink, nor the toilet… nor into a single solid, tiled, cold bathroom wall! I felt my insides grow cold with that sinking feeling that something was really, really wrong. I stood there petrified with my eyes wide open to the darkness around me, mouth slightly hanging and dripping dental cream foam, tooth brush forgotten but still in hand and also dripping… And then, without thinking (obviously, because that's what people tend to do when their brain reaches a state of total confusion and switch to automatic panic mode), I bolted…. After what seemed like an eternity (but surely it was more like one minute) I saw a slightly lighter dark (if that is possible) ahead of me, and it became increasingly lighter, going from total blackness in what seemed like an indigo.

"Oh my… is that a light in the end of the tunnel! Oh my! What is happening to me! I'm too young to be seeing a light in the end of a tunnel!" Pushing aside my panicked thoughts of that being the entrance to the afterlife, maybe after reasoning that it would be a highly improbable thing for someone to make the spiritual passage holding a tooth bush... I absently continued to go in the direction of the lighter path.

After a while I found myself in an area where I was surrounded by huge dark blotches, towering shadows. My vision adjusted a little to the lighter ambient and looking up I could see an opening through the shadows…I was seeing…the sky? Yes, it was indeed a piece of a very starry night sky! And although starry, the sky was dark with a thin crescent moon emanating a dim glow. Gulping down the rest of the dental cream that still was in my mouth, I took another look around. The shadowy forms around me became more clear when realization hit me…How could I be so slow! They were trees, now I could see their tops moving a little…Leafs lightly shaking in the breeze. My ears, that seemed to have woke up just now, began to catch sounds of the rustling leafs and other unidentified forestlike noises. The gears inside my head began to turn and I came to the brilliant conclusion that I was in fact standing in the middle of what seemed to be a forest. I had already had my share of "hows": "how can that be?", "how is this possible?", how, how? No, I wasn't going down that road again. "Let's not further question this surreal situation." I wisely told myself, but I could not help thinking that at that precise moment I certainly was laying at my cold bathroom floor, unconscious, after some kind of insanity attack struck me. I hoped I would eventually wake up….

Concentrating on my surroundings I started looking for a path or a hint of anything to follow. I heard water flowing noise in the distance and decided that was a good thing to take as orientation…after all, if you are lost, follow the river! Despite the fact that I didn't know if lost was exactly the term for my current situation, to the river I went.

The path was muddy and slippery; it looked like it had been raining earlier! How peachy! My lovely fluffy slippers were sinking more and more in the mud at very step, but in a Pollyanna way of thinking, always seeing the merry side of situations I thought that it could always be worst, it could be raining right now. And as Murphy never sleeps, his laws always present in our daily misadventures, I heard the distinct crack of thunder roam in the sky, but thanks heavens it sounded distant and the night was still looking reassuringly clear. Alerted by Murphy's warning that he wouldn't spare me, I put my Pollyanna side away and began walking quickly, ignoring the fact that I hadn't a clue where I was going (yes, I was heading for the river, but where was that river going to lead me to? To a warm and cozy cabana away from the rain? I highly doubted that! ). Every sort of nature disposal was getting tangled in my hair, going through the woods was proving to be a very hard task, I was fighting branches, bushes, rocks and all seemed damp and sticky even the air. Besides that all the while I was trying not to think of what kind of disgusting, poisonous bugs, nasty insects or other kind of creatures could be crawling around. I was never much of an outside person, no, definitely not, too much tension for me!

By the sound of the water I knew I was getting near my target and soon I could see the sparkling river flow ahead. A few more steps struggling trough the wilderness and I had reached the river, it was wide and had many rocks scattered around, among the flowing water, but it didn't seem it would be possible for me to cross it….but then again, why would I want to cross the damn thing? And as I stood there pondering on what to do next and also noting that it was taking me quite some time to wake up…

"Halt there, beast! And drop your weapon!"

TBC.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter II: "Sent by the Evil Forces"

Amazingly as it may sound, at first I was not scared to death by that quite aggressive and unfriendly tone of voice in the middle of a dark and eerie forest, realizing that the spoken demand was directed at poor old me I felt really revolted! "Beast!" Sure, I must have looked like a vision from hell with dried Crest all over my face, my unruly hair barely tied up in a knot, dressed in my "home really comfortable and nice for studding all afternoon really old loose cotton sweater and pants" attire, plus some mud, twigs and who knows what else that had attached itself to my figure! But that "beast" thing was extremely rude! I had my complexes that needed working out in therapy already, no need to add being called a beast to my list! See, my self-esteem is something extremely vulnerable and fragile, it shatters so very easily! That sentence hurt me, although I had a faint conscience of my physical state.

"Beast!" I said out loud in a distressed squeaky voice.

" I wont say it again, drop your weapon at once or you will suffer for it!" The voice boomed again.

And then there was fright. Terror. Panic. I was being threatened with physical violence, even if all of this was a dream, a hallucination, that couldn't be a pleasant thing. No, not good. Had my subconscious produced a maniac? To many suspense movies?... What to do? What to do? "I'm going to run for the river and let it drag me away! It may not be very pleasant either but at least there wont be any confrontations between me and mister psycho that is lurking there in the dark. Brilliant!" I thought as I gave one quick step towards the shinny, inviting water. Only to be stopped by something pointy pressed to my back, my mind not taking any time to register that the object was something potentially sharp…

"Please, don't hurt me!" I begged to the product of my own sick imagination, making a quick note to myself to stop watching suspense and horror movies.

"Drop your weapon and I won't." Was the calm but firm reply.

"Weapon? What weapon?" I said feeling my heart had found it's way up my throat making it very hard to speak.

"The one on your hand! Don't toy with me!"

Gosh, on my hand? What was he talking about! I glanced at my hand to see that I was still clutching my tooth brush. Surely it couldn't be the weapon he was talking about… Or could it? It was an electric brush, a little bigger than a normal one…but how and why on earth would this guy think it was a weapon! Utterly insane and absurd! I reminded myself that I had promised to stop with the "how" question thing, and that everything that was happening was actually insane and absurd.

"Sir, this is not a weapon, it is a tooth bru…"

"Drop it!" Oh boy, he was getting nervous!

"Ok, ok…there." And my poor tooth brush hit the ground with a thud. That is not one light tooth brush!

"Turn around slowly!"

I hesitated one moment… By now I was trembling like a leaf and was not thinking quite clearly…even in my mind I'm not accustomed on being threatened with something sharp. But I did as he told and turned to face him. Maniac! But not before I closed my eyes, tight, I really didn't want to see what my mind, that had already proven itself a lot more twisted then I thought it was, had been able to produce.

"You are a woman!" Wow, now I was really offended by his sincerely surprised tone! How could he have missed to notice that? Ok, I'm wearing pretty loose clothes, and I don't have much…err…how can I put it…not much accentuated and round curves… yes, that would be a nice euphemism. But what about my voice! Great! One more thing to sort with my therapist! This trip inside my head is really showing me what I think about myself!

"Err…yes." I still kept my eyes shut.

"That surprises me, but does not take away the strong possibility of you being a spy sent by the Evil Forces… specially being clad in such a strange garb and with that bizarre weapon. State you business about these lands at once!"

That I had underestimated my wild imagination, I knew already, but the fact that it was able to spill something as preposterous as "spy for the Evil Forces" had to amaze me. And to that I had the grace to emit a snort-laughter-like sound.

"Are you laughing? Is any of what a said a laughing matter to you!"

Oh-oh, I think I annoyed him.

"No, sir, I'm sorry."

"State your business, woman!"

Thinking about it, this man had a very peculiar form of speech. It was kind of old-fashioned and complementing that thought with the strangest things he was saying like that "evil Forces" thing and "state you business about these lands" thing… And the fact that he didn't recognize a toothbrush…Curiosity got the best of me, now I had to see this character, and I opened my eyes…

TBC.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter III: What a great actress the world has lost!

_Ugh!_ Was the first thing I thought. _This guy hasn't seen water or soup in ages! _I wasn't so near to him that I could smell him, but the look of him was more than enough to make that assumption. He had a short beard, shoulder length hair that appeared to be attracting as much forest dirt as mine, his tunic, that once in a faraway time must have been beige, had some crusted dark spots scattered and was many different shades of brown, specially in distinct areas such as under the arms and the collar, although some kind of embroidery could still be noticed… his leggings where dark brown what dismissed the stains a little. On top of it all he was clad in a black cloak, that was currently thrown back…. _Oh! That's one terrible outfit!...Hey wait! Tunic…leggings…cloak…hmm…medieval costume! That's lovely, I've been working with costume design for so long that I've begun hallucinating men in medieval outfits! Robin Hood and his merry man surely must be arriving any time soon! _ And let's not forget to mention that this medieval gentleman was holding a really menacing sword... Even so I stood there shamelessly and openly starring at him from head to toe for quite some time until his voice shook me from my trance.

"Are you quite finished with your inspection yet?" I couldn't help but notice some amusement in his voice.

"Err…sorry". And that was me, blushing furiously.

"You didn't answer my question!"

"What was that again?"

"For the third time, woman! Your business around here, what is it?" The man was getting irritated again, not good! Moody, isn't him? Well, schizophrenic psychopaths tend to be so.

"I'm lost…?" I heard my own uncertain voice. It was the first and most idiotic thing that came to my mind. As I said before, I wasn't quite sure if lost was the correct word to describe my situation. What exactly was my situation, anyway? I was beginning to accept the possibility, because maybe there really was a terrifying possibility, that all this mess was not a vivid dream, but indeed real.

"Lost. Hmm. How did you get lost?"

"I…well… It was dark…and then the trees…very dark, you know, and I could not go back and then I walked and walked some more and it's very difficult walking around here… in this forest I mean, well I imagine any forest must be like this… and all this mud and it must have been raining, don't you think? Yes, definitely, must probably raining a lot… or a little, but anyway… the river… I was walking to the river, yes, towards the water noise… big river, isn't it? Kinda pretty in the moonlight…"

"Stop this nonsense! Where you traveling with a group? With your family? Where did you came from?" He interrupted my terrible babbling.

"You ask so many questions, don't you?"

"Yes, I do and you answer so very few, don't you, Milady?" _Oh, "milady"! At least I'm getting some respectful old-fashioned treatment! Ohoo, things are improving! Irony apart, I need to focus on the problem at hand: What the hell am I going to tell him? "Oh listen Mr. Medieval men with big sharp sword, It is really complicated, you see, I was brushing my teeth, yes, with that beautiful and expensive tooth bush approved by 99 of the dentists, which you seem to think is a weapon, when suddenly my bathroom went dark and vanished and I walked through what looked like a dark, dark, dark, dark tunnel with, surprise, surprise this dark forest at the end! Am I dead? Am I hallucinating?" And then I sing: _

"Is this the real life-  
Is this just fantasy-  
Caught in a landslide-  
No escape from reality…"

"_See, my dear man, it's complicated even for me!" And then he will gladly separate my pretty head from my body. __Ok not good, then what about: "Yes, that's it, I was indeed traveling with my family, when I slipped, fell of a cliff, a little one of course, and rolled, rolled and rolled and rolled really far away from them, and as a result of all this rolling here I am… lost"…hmm, sounds simple and convincing enough…But then with his questioning obsession he will certainly ask where we were heading to…and since I have no idea of where I am, nor in time, nor in space, I will answer… "err…__Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho__! To __the Merry Old Land of Oz!__" and with one swift movement of his hand: beheaded! Hmm, this is hard! Maybe something desperate and crazy, a good old excuse:_"_Oh, you'll have to excuse me_, sir, _I think I left my oven lit so I really got to go now, It was a true delight to meet you!" And there goes the head!_

"Milady?" Once again he took me from my thoughts.

"I don't know." I brilliantly blurted this line out after so much thinking.

"You don't know how you got lost? Memory loss?" He eyed me incredulous.

I simply nodded, biting my lip and looking at the ground.

"Ok, enough of this. Follow me." He picked up my fallen tooth brush, which looked really icky now, and looked at me expectantly.

_Uh-oh…I'm definitely not going anywhere with him! What to do? What to do? Think quickly once in your life!" _ And so I did:

"Look! What's that up there!" I said in a surprised tone and pointed at the tree tops. And amazingly… He turned and looked! _What a great actress the world has lost! _I though in a millisecond before I ran full speed in the opposite direction and into the not so welcoming mass of trees.

TBC.

AN: The small song part is "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter IV: Scary, Scary Night.

I never knew I could run that fast! Great actress and sportswoman! Wow! I was discovering many talents of my! So, in a speed that would make Prefontaine jealous, I reached the desired mass of tress in hope to find a place to hide in the shadows, because I wisely knew I couldn't run forever. After taking a few turns in different directions amongst the trees in an attempt to lose Medieval Maniac if he was taking the time to pursue me, I stopped panting, eyes wide as saucers, adrenalin pumping through my veins. I scanned the darkness around me, as the night in the forest showed itself in different hues of blue, the huge trees were so imposing, the cold night air filled my lungs and of course a cooing owl made everything much more mysterious and creepy. All was so calm and peaceful and yet inexplicably disturbing.

Absently my eyes got fixed on a point between the trees, immerse in that bluish atmosphere I couldn't unglue my eyes from that space between the trees…but there was nothing there…right? An icy feeling griped my heart and I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise... squinting my eyes I continued looking…and began to realize, real slowly, like my brain as gathering every tiny piece of visual information and putting it together like a really complex puzzle, that there was something in the blue clad darkness, there was an eye…and another and a nose and a mouth…a smirking mouth…a face…that now seemed to be glowing very slightly, a bluish glow that merged so perfectly with the surroundings, even though it was a glow in the dark. It was beautiful, so natural, so harmonious… Suddenly I woke from my reverie to fully realize there was a person, seemingly a man leaning on that tree right in front of me, looking at me! And I knew he had been there all the time, just staring…and smirking. He was so strange…no, that was not it…I couldn't quite find the word…he was eerie, surreal; inhuman... he was glowing, for goodness sake! Have you any idea of how utterly scary it is to find out you have been looking at someone for quite some time without realizing there was indeed a someone there? It is an indescribable feeling… it's like thin air transformed right before your eyes but at the same time you just know there wasn't any real transformation, that this someone was already there the whole time, that you looked but wasn't able to see…that it is not a normal someone and it is looking back at you, calmly and knowingly observing you back. As I am not the bravest soul you will know of…in a moment I got really light headed and….

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I heard my scream echo through the woods and consequently also heard some flapping wings of disturbed birds flying away.

The glowing thing took a step towards me. I took three steps back real quick.

"Don't…don't come any closer!" I said in a shaky voice.

He stopped… and smiled!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" That smile, the glowing thing smile was also very…glowy…and had a terrible effect on me. _Go away, go away, go away!_ I closed my eyes tight_ w_hile standing petrified. In a list of things that scare the &# out of me one of the top ten must be ethereal, glowing, eerie appearances in the middle of a dark forest. And seconds passed like centuries…and I was breathing really loudly, because the only thing I could hear was my own respiration. A few more moments passed and I thought it was time to take a peek, maybe my ghostly friend was gone. Gulping I opened my eyes…

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Oh no! There he was and closer! And still smiling. One scary, smirking son of a &$# he was!

"What? What do you want? What are you smiling at?" I shouted in a still trembling voice, but congratulated my self for the sudden burst of courage.

"Don't be afraid." He said in perfectly comprehensible whisper. Men! Talk about melodious voice…and as bizarre and inhuman and all that as his appearance. That sentence probably was supposed to have a soothing effect, but…

"Baaaaaaack!" Although I was talking to him, it was I who took more three large steps back. And collided with soothing solid, better saying something solid with hands…that held my shoulders.

TBC.


End file.
